As someone who has had many a fashion meltdown, I feel so seen, down to the absurdity of it all. But there’s something to be said about feeling prepared and feeling your best and that often starts with how we present ourselves to the world. Also now thinking about how a bitchy little heel and a cunty little bob when paired with a power shoulder is basically Katherine O’Hara in Home Alone.
I’ve had a full time WFH job since 2010 interspersed with 3-5day trips usually 6 times a year. Some years more travel, some years less. I have always told my kid the day before a trip (less time to build up angst) and promised a fun souvenir when I’m back. My kid melted down HARD when I called from the road before age 8 so I ghosted or called only after bedtime. We were pretty matter of fact over work travel and treated it like any other thing my kid didn’t like but still had to do and had a similar script. ‘Mom travels for work because it’s part of her job, and she likes her job. Mom’s job also lets her work from home so she can drop you at school/get you off the bus. I know you don’t like when I go away but I always come back and I will always spend lots of time with you when I do. Do you want to plan something special for when I come home?’
My husband works full time in an office so my kid also realized he still got a lot more facetime with me when I was home.
At the end of the day, I like working, I like work trips, and the salary benefits my family so I try to let go of the guilt as much as I can. Plus when they get older you can (sometimes) bring them along which is very cool! I also brought my family on a work trip where I knew I’d be working insane hours. They had fun while I worked from 7am-midnight which proved to my kid that yes, I really was working long hours and not just going to fun places and having adventures alone.
Welcome to the closet meltdown club. I had a closet organizer come last year, and now even though I try to stick to her plan and can see everything I have much more easily, I still can freak out when packing for a trip. I find it helps to outfit plan in my head (I do that too) ahead of time and then lay the outfits out before I start actually packing so I can edit if need be. Ask me how often I have time or inclination to do those steps though? ;)! Also, thank you for the heads up about the Khaite jacket!!! I’ve been admiring yours for months and I just snagged the last size 6 at 50% off!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would have a meltdown over two transatlantic flights between three days, let alone looking put together in between them. You’re crushing it even when you’re not.
Also, when does a T-shirt qualify as vintage? Does it have to have been owned by someone else, or how long has it had to sit in my drawer for?
Ha I think the def is flexi. For me, it means the 80s or earlier, but I do include a vintage early 00s American Apparel deep v-neck in that category as well.
Re: kids and feelings- your goal is to help them regulate not try to make it go away. You can’t control what others think and feel but you can teach them that feelings like sadness or separation anxiety are normal and temporary, and that there are ways to feel better.
I love the Timeshifter app!! But I do find it hard to follow right now both with young kids and any time I’m traveling with my kids. No way I can go to sleep right when I get on the plane when I’m sitting next to my 2yo. But when I have been able to more closely follow it, it definitely works.
On the subject leaving kids behind for work travel, I usually tell them a few days in advance. I have a rule of never ghosting my kids. My oldest has a really hard time with my trips, and I do my best to help him process it beforehand. While I’m on the trip, I always send the kids a goodnight video (this is especially helpful if I have a dinner engagement and won’t be able to talk to them before bedtime—you can make the video any time during the day). The videos often include a hotel room tour, and I always sing them their goodnight song. It works really well, and they can rewatch it a few times. My husband does the same thing. Good luck!
Aw I am sorry you are dealing with sadness from your daughter when you travel. I have been away a lot for work lately and what works for us is to have little things to look forward to when it is just one parent at home - even if my husband is out late for a work dinner, we might UberEats Shake Shack and throw on a movie and the kids associate a “mommy only” night with a treat. Also I am sure you have tried this but since pretty much every kids love language is gifts, bringing a little something back from your travels to give to her, even if it’s just some toiletries from the hotel?? I remember loving to get the little business class airplane kits from my mom as a kid. And if none of that works, know you are a great mom and you’re doing amazing!
I’ve always traveled for work but my youngest, now 13 😭😭, had difficulty dealing with me traveling again post-covid. I’ve always done a hotel room tour on FaceTime with both kids when I got to my room. They think it’s hysterical when there is a phone in the bathroom. And post covid I started bringing “squeals” a little pig stuffed animal from my youngest. I’ll take a few pics of squeals in the room to send home and it gives her something to look forward to about my trip.
I finally admitted to my husband (and to, you know, myself) that my “pre work travel anxiety” is really just “I don’t know what to wear anxiety.” For my trip this week I finally just decided to wear what the male execs wear - black tshirt, jeans, and whatever shoe we’re selling. No one questions what they wear!
Thank you for being real! Despite being a management consultant, work trips especially to places with temperamental climates can still throw me off. I loved all the outfits!
On the kids… it’s tough. I usually tell my 9yo a month in advance and we start planning for it 1-2 weeks leading up to the trip. It makes for a painful time but I feel better than letting her know last minute. Usually once im gone, she’s fine. Sorry. Not helping much except to say you’re not alone!
My question to you is how do you fit all of those clothes in a carry on? But I love the acid yellow/green sweaters you brought. I love those colors (and have a puffer coat that matches the yellow sweater.)
I love how candid and relatable you are! The meltdown sounded totally justified. Also, spring is hard to pack for. Weather is so changeable. I have an upcoming trip to France in June and am trying to convince myself to go carry-on only. Commence the outfit planning!
This is a crazy timing coincidence, consider-me-influenced by HK story: I *almost* bought the AE77 pants yesterday. The reason they are so cheap now is because they are final sale, which I didn't see until I was about to press "PURCHASE." It's not apparent on the item detail page, so buyer beware!
Since I am trying the Aerie strapless bra for an upcoming wedding (not on your recent stylist recommended strapless bra post, but seen elsewhere; I rarely ever need a strapless so not inclined to invest) so it was the perfect opportunity to throw those pants I've been eyeing since you first posted about them. But since they were final sale, I didn't want to buy 2 sizes. I searched the comments on your original post to see if you mentioned what size you took, first on my phone, but didn't see all the comments. I talked myself out of the pants and removed them from my cart. Boo. Still curious, I looked at the post comments and found your response about sizes, after I already checked out for the bras.
Too late, or, maybe it isn't....
You mention a size 6 in this post, but on the previous post it said you also have a size 8 for slouchier fit. I think we are around the same size or so, so just wondering which size you'd recommend? I wish they were in store!
The good news about your London trip is that even though you may have overpacked, you ended up with the perfect outfits. x
really love the black and white with the neon sweater!! my skin is sensitive to itch but may try this one. gonna try the jcrew pants if I can get my size in black.
your travel packing dilemma sounds similar to what happens to me when i try hard to focus on anything- super scattered and starting mini projects in between.
No but I’ve been with this one for a year now and I LOVE it—honestly especially for packing! I can “pack” not in my closet and it helps me see what goes with what and what is just silly to add. And my new goal is not to buy things that basically replace things I already have and still love, and I think it’s helping with that.
As someone who has had many a fashion meltdown, I feel so seen, down to the absurdity of it all. But there’s something to be said about feeling prepared and feeling your best and that often starts with how we present ourselves to the world. Also now thinking about how a bitchy little heel and a cunty little bob when paired with a power shoulder is basically Katherine O’Hara in Home Alone.
OH MY GOD YOU ARE CORRECT!!!!
I’ve had a full time WFH job since 2010 interspersed with 3-5day trips usually 6 times a year. Some years more travel, some years less. I have always told my kid the day before a trip (less time to build up angst) and promised a fun souvenir when I’m back. My kid melted down HARD when I called from the road before age 8 so I ghosted or called only after bedtime. We were pretty matter of fact over work travel and treated it like any other thing my kid didn’t like but still had to do and had a similar script. ‘Mom travels for work because it’s part of her job, and she likes her job. Mom’s job also lets her work from home so she can drop you at school/get you off the bus. I know you don’t like when I go away but I always come back and I will always spend lots of time with you when I do. Do you want to plan something special for when I come home?’
My husband works full time in an office so my kid also realized he still got a lot more facetime with me when I was home.
At the end of the day, I like working, I like work trips, and the salary benefits my family so I try to let go of the guilt as much as I can. Plus when they get older you can (sometimes) bring them along which is very cool! I also brought my family on a work trip where I knew I’d be working insane hours. They had fun while I worked from 7am-midnight which proved to my kid that yes, I really was working long hours and not just going to fun places and having adventures alone.
Love all of this so much and appreciate it!!!
Welcome to the closet meltdown club. I had a closet organizer come last year, and now even though I try to stick to her plan and can see everything I have much more easily, I still can freak out when packing for a trip. I find it helps to outfit plan in my head (I do that too) ahead of time and then lay the outfits out before I start actually packing so I can edit if need be. Ask me how often I have time or inclination to do those steps though? ;)! Also, thank you for the heads up about the Khaite jacket!!! I’ve been admiring yours for months and I just snagged the last size 6 at 50% off!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHH I AM SO HAPPY YOU GOT IT!!!!!!
I would have a meltdown over two transatlantic flights between three days, let alone looking put together in between them. You’re crushing it even when you’re not.
Also, when does a T-shirt qualify as vintage? Does it have to have been owned by someone else, or how long has it had to sit in my drawer for?
Ha I think the def is flexi. For me, it means the 80s or earlier, but I do include a vintage early 00s American Apparel deep v-neck in that category as well.
Omg American Apparel may she rest in peace
I hold onto that shirt like it's gold
Re: kids and feelings- your goal is to help them regulate not try to make it go away. You can’t control what others think and feel but you can teach them that feelings like sadness or separation anxiety are normal and temporary, and that there are ways to feel better.
I love the Timeshifter app!! But I do find it hard to follow right now both with young kids and any time I’m traveling with my kids. No way I can go to sleep right when I get on the plane when I’m sitting next to my 2yo. But when I have been able to more closely follow it, it definitely works.
On the subject leaving kids behind for work travel, I usually tell them a few days in advance. I have a rule of never ghosting my kids. My oldest has a really hard time with my trips, and I do my best to help him process it beforehand. While I’m on the trip, I always send the kids a goodnight video (this is especially helpful if I have a dinner engagement and won’t be able to talk to them before bedtime—you can make the video any time during the day). The videos often include a hotel room tour, and I always sing them their goodnight song. It works really well, and they can rewatch it a few times. My husband does the same thing. Good luck!
Oh my god I didn't think about using it while traveling with kids. Yeah that's so hard. And thank you for the video tip!
Aw I am sorry you are dealing with sadness from your daughter when you travel. I have been away a lot for work lately and what works for us is to have little things to look forward to when it is just one parent at home - even if my husband is out late for a work dinner, we might UberEats Shake Shack and throw on a movie and the kids associate a “mommy only” night with a treat. Also I am sure you have tried this but since pretty much every kids love language is gifts, bringing a little something back from your travels to give to her, even if it’s just some toiletries from the hotel?? I remember loving to get the little business class airplane kits from my mom as a kid. And if none of that works, know you are a great mom and you’re doing amazing!
I totally agree on the little presents! I found two small Jellycat corgi stuffies that I brought home & we're a hit!
If you tell the flight attendants you’re bringing home something for a child they will 100% give you an extra amenity bag!
I’ve always traveled for work but my youngest, now 13 😭😭, had difficulty dealing with me traveling again post-covid. I’ve always done a hotel room tour on FaceTime with both kids when I got to my room. They think it’s hysterical when there is a phone in the bathroom. And post covid I started bringing “squeals” a little pig stuffed animal from my youngest. I’ll take a few pics of squeals in the room to send home and it gives her something to look forward to about my trip.
I love this idea so much!!! And such a fun idea to do a tour.
I finally admitted to my husband (and to, you know, myself) that my “pre work travel anxiety” is really just “I don’t know what to wear anxiety.” For my trip this week I finally just decided to wear what the male execs wear - black tshirt, jeans, and whatever shoe we’re selling. No one questions what they wear!
Honestly I love this.
Thank you for being real! Despite being a management consultant, work trips especially to places with temperamental climates can still throw me off. I loved all the outfits!
On the kids… it’s tough. I usually tell my 9yo a month in advance and we start planning for it 1-2 weeks leading up to the trip. It makes for a painful time but I feel better than letting her know last minute. Usually once im gone, she’s fine. Sorry. Not helping much except to say you’re not alone!
Thank you for this!
Loved that you shared the messiness about packing for the trip, the laundry and all of it!! 💗
I sure learned my lesson. It's like not grocery shopping on an empty stomach!
My question to you is how do you fit all of those clothes in a carry on? But I love the acid yellow/green sweaters you brought. I love those colors (and have a puffer coat that matches the yellow sweater.)
It's just a standard carry-on bag! I wear the coat on the plane!
Same question!!! 😉
I love how candid and relatable you are! The meltdown sounded totally justified. Also, spring is hard to pack for. Weather is so changeable. I have an upcoming trip to France in June and am trying to convince myself to go carry-on only. Commence the outfit planning!
This is a crazy timing coincidence, consider-me-influenced by HK story: I *almost* bought the AE77 pants yesterday. The reason they are so cheap now is because they are final sale, which I didn't see until I was about to press "PURCHASE." It's not apparent on the item detail page, so buyer beware!
Since I am trying the Aerie strapless bra for an upcoming wedding (not on your recent stylist recommended strapless bra post, but seen elsewhere; I rarely ever need a strapless so not inclined to invest) so it was the perfect opportunity to throw those pants I've been eyeing since you first posted about them. But since they were final sale, I didn't want to buy 2 sizes. I searched the comments on your original post to see if you mentioned what size you took, first on my phone, but didn't see all the comments. I talked myself out of the pants and removed them from my cart. Boo. Still curious, I looked at the post comments and found your response about sizes, after I already checked out for the bras.
Too late, or, maybe it isn't....
You mention a size 6 in this post, but on the previous post it said you also have a size 8 for slouchier fit. I think we are around the same size or so, so just wondering which size you'd recommend? I wish they were in store!
The good news about your London trip is that even though you may have overpacked, you ended up with the perfect outfits. x
You are right, I have both sizes! 6 for TTS and 8 for slouchier!
The day 2 outfit was 💯 what size did you get in the guest in residence sweater?
Surprise surprise: A medium. Ha!
really love the black and white with the neon sweater!! my skin is sensitive to itch but may try this one. gonna try the jcrew pants if I can get my size in black.
your travel packing dilemma sounds similar to what happens to me when i try hard to focus on anything- super scattered and starting mini projects in between.
Yes I feel like it's related to my tendency to organize towels or kitchen pantry when I'm on deadline.
I totally copied that one into my Indyx to try with my own versions of same, it looked great!
oooh i may need to look into indyx. have you tried other digital wardrobe apps?
No but I’ve been with this one for a year now and I LOVE it—honestly especially for packing! I can “pack” not in my closet and it helps me see what goes with what and what is just silly to add. And my new goal is not to buy things that basically replace things I already have and still love, and I think it’s helping with that.
wow this sounds great. I was doing a long evernote with pics of my shoes but this sounds way better! thanks for the rec.
Our relatable fashion 👑
Also that black white and yellow number?!?! Insane.
Thank you for pulling me out of my tailspin!!!!
VO2 maxxxxxxx
💀💀💀💀