I Cut My Social Media Time in HALF With One Easy Trick

Technically by nearly 60%! And yeah, I feel significantly better.

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I’ve been thinking about change quite a bit lately and our capacity for it as we get older. If you follow me on Instagram, you might be aware of the fact that I have committed myself to moving my body on a regular basis and am currently about 40 days away from having exercised every day for an entire year. For me, as a non-athletic lazy person, this has been a big switch.

Interestingly enough, once I got into the habit of working out every day—a process that took at least four months—it no longer became something I had to push myself to do. It became almost automatic, like brushing my teeth when I wake up, something that I just accepted about my life.

(Apparently, it’s not just me who needs a bit of time to fully acclimate to a new protocol. According to a 2009 study from the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes an average of 66 days for something to become a habit, which is far more than the 21-day promise most self-help books swear by.)

Knowing that I have the capacity for change, I decided it was time to tackle another area of my life that bothers me: my phone usage, specifically, the amount of time I spend on social media every day.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had minor anxiety about my phone time, and I kept nudging myself and my husband to be more present with our kids and each other. But the thing that really pushed me over the edge was actually my parents. I love that my folks are into technology and have Instagram on their phones, but when I spent more time with them over the holidays, I noticed that both of them have moments when they’re just glued to their phones. It’s not cute. And if I don’t like that look on them, I certainly am not going to like it for me.

So one night I made a plan. I’d start by using the Screen Time > App Limits function on my iPhone and see if that would save me from the hours of mindless scrolling I’d engage in after putting my kids to bed every night. No more long, leisurely baths while scrolling through TikTok. No more getting myself riled up at the horrors on Twitter right before I needed to go to bed. And no more prolonged snooping into my exes’ ex-girlfriends’ Instagram lives. (Hi, ladies. Please don’t block me; I know it’s weird, but I like seeing that you’re doing well.)

Since the majority of my social media time is spent on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, I would only set limits for these apps. Though, you can limit any app on your Apple devices. (Yes, this works on your laptop and desktop, too.)

This is the story of how that process is going. (I use the word “going” because I know this will be an ongoing process and not a journey that has a concrete end.)

Starting Point

Fair warning: You’re about to be horrified by my numbers because they’re so high. I am bothered by my usage too—that’s why I’m doing this damn experiment—so please don’t harass me or make passive-aggressive remarks about it. It is hard to be vulnerable about something that makes you ashamed; don’t make me regret it!

Also, I will remind you that I am required to look at social media for my job, as it is essentially a glorified trade publication. How else would I know that Britney Spears is pregnant? Wait until it is published in The New York Times? Not fast enough!

Okay, I’m stalling. Here is what my daily social media usage looked like a month ago.

Bad Day: 6 hours, 5 minutes (365 minutes overall)

Good Day: 2 hours, 45 minutes (165 minutes overall)

Typical Day: 4 hours, 34 minutes (274 minutes overall)

Not great. But the upside is there’s lots of room for improvement? With this in mind, I decided to set limits that were in the ballpark of a good day, to start, and then restrict more once I got comfortable with the new limits.

Also worth noting: The Screen Limits enforcement mechanism is actually quite kind. When you are within five minutes of your daily limit for whatever app, it alerts you to that. Then, when you use up all your time, it gives you three options: add 1 minute, add 15 minutes, or ignore the limit for the rest of the day. So it’s not like you’re locked out forever.

(That said, the “add 15 minutes” option doesn’t mean 15 minutes to that particular app; it means 15 minutes starting that second. So if you use whatever app for five minutes, then put your phone down for 20 and pick it up again thinking you have 10 “active” minutes left on that app, you will be wrong and have to extend it again.

Day 1:

Before bed, I went to Settings on my phone, then clicked on Screen Time, then App Limits, Add Limit, selected my three main social accounts, and created time limits for each one. How did I come up with those limits? Very scientifically; jkjkjkjk.

Honestly, I didn’t overthink it. I just based my limits off of my usage that day, which was a Sunday. I assumed my numbers would be a bit lower than average because I spend more time running around with my kids on the weekend and theoretically scroll less.

New Limits:

TikTok: 30 minutes a day

Twitter: 45 minutes a day

Instagram: 75 minutes a day

TOTAL: 150 minutes overall / 2 hours + 30 minutes

Seems like a reasonable-to-high amount of time, right?

I got my first “Warning, you have 5 minutes left” message by 9:30 a.m.

Apparently, I was already close to my limit for Twitter, which makes sense, as I scroll while I’m doing things like making coffee and brushing my teeth and use it as the equivalent of a morning news show. Still, that warning so early in the day made my stomach drop.

At 7:30 p.m., I glanced at my phone while my husband was getting our kids out of the bath. I’d used up all my time on Instagram, my phone noted. Did I want to ignore the limit? Yes, I did, and immediately added 15 minutes to my allowance. And then some more. But I stopped after the second extension.

Day 1 Full Report:

TikTok: 28 minutes

Twitter: 43 minutes

Instagram: 2 hours 7 minutes / 127 minutes

TOTAL: 198 minutes overall / 3 hours and 18 minutes

In other words, I went over my new limit by 48 minutes. Not great, but not as bad as I thought it would be.

Day 3:

I’ve quit a lot of things—toxic people, toxic habits, toxic patterns—and I know that, for me, the hardest part is deciding to change and the most uncomfortable part is the first week. And the first few days basically felt like I was wearing a pair of non-stretch jeans that are a size too small. Was it the worst pain ever? Of course not. Was it low-key annoying at all times? Yeah.

But why? Why was it so irritating? I kept asking myself that and came to a conclusion that may or may not be correct but certainly was lightly comforting. I realized that I am a creature of habit who also doesn’t love spending too much time in my own head. When I was growing up, that meant I always had a book with me—other people’s stories kept me from having to deal with my unadulterated brain. I would read while I was eating, styling my hair, doing chores, you name it. My phone, and specifically social media, fill that same need for distraction. Simply realizing that makes me feel less of a connection to my phone.

I also know that the social media feedback loop is giving my brain tiny dopamine hits all day, which is part of why we all feel so compelled to keep checking. To offset this—in my very non-scientific way—I realized I need treats! (Now, is buying yourself things to counteract difficult feelings an issue? Sure, but we’re not going to get into that now.) The second I realized this, I went online and ordered a slew of books.

[Specifically: Crying in H Mart, One Italian Summer, The Candy House, In a New York Minute, and The Club.]

Is replacing one fixation with a healthier alternative the solution to why I can’t be in my own head? No, but I figure it’s a little like swapping regular Coke for Diet Coke to some extent? In a perfect world, you just go from Coke to water—or social media compulsion as a way to distract yourself to quiet acceptance of your own thoughts—but honestly, that sounds way too hard for me. So book treats it is!

After an uncomfy two days, I felt like I started to hit my stride on day three. Some of my worst habits—like picking up my phone any time I felt even the faintest whisper of boredom—were starting to dissipate.

I also thank the unfortunate new algorithm at Instagram for the help. Between the ads and the TikTok-influenced addition of inserting random accounts into my feed to “discover” (hard pass), I was already feeling less interested in IG anyway. So the time limit was just nudging me to remember that I don’t even like it there that much anyway.

Day 3 Full Report:

TikTok: 0 minutes

Twitter: 21 minutes

Instagram: 1 hours 10 minutes / 70 minutes

TOTAL: 91 minutes overall / 1 hours and 31 minutes

In other words, I was UNDER my new limit by 59 minutes. OH HELL YES.

Day 10:

Skipping ahead now because after day three, nothing much changed, and my time limits looked basically the same every day. Full confession: Day three was an anomaly. I haven’t been under my daily limit by that much since. But! I have been within 15 minutes (plus or minus) every day since, with more days falling under my daily time limit than not.

My brain is still hardwired to pick up my phone when I’m bored, frustrated, or killing time. I’m still not totally in my pre–cell phone habit of bringing a book with me wherever I go and made the mistake of walking into the post office one day without anything to help me pass the time. Spoiler alert: I spent most of my time in line responding to emails, so not all was lost, but it definitely wasn’t the self-soothing moment of my dreams.

I think my next step will be to knock down my Instagram time from 75 minutes a day to 60 and then hopefully get to 45 in a month or two. It’s a funny balance; I have to be on for work, but I also am trying to decide what my relationship with creating content will be. I love sharing things I discover and have felt such wonderful moments of connection through social media, but I’m also not a “content creator” by trade.

Which begs the question: If it’s not a source of significant income, should I give myself the permission to step back more? But I like sharing parts of my life, and I love the little community we have created, so the benefits aren’t just monetary. It’s also how I keep in touch with friends who live in different cities, and every day, I’m inspired by something I see on social. Such a conundrum.

While my own future on social is TBD, after a little over a week of this experiment, I knew at least one thing for sure: Life is too short to follow accounts that make you feel meh. That “mute” option—and the more decisive “unfollow”—is honestly such a gift. I spent 30 minutes going through my follow list and removing the accounts that make me feel less than, annoyed, or straight-up jealous. If I have limited time on these apps, I definitely don’t want to spend it absorbing the feed of a person I find repellent!

So I unfollowed or muted 200 people. Give or take.

Day 10 Full Report:

TikTok: 14 minutes

Twitter: 25 minutes

Instagram: 1 hour 45 minutes / 105 minutes

TOTAL: 144 minutes overall / 2 hours and 24 minutes

Technically under my time limit by 6 minutes, though over my IG limit by 30 minutes. C’est la vie.

Experiment Over! (Or is it?)

It has now been over two weeks since I set out to reduce my social media time. I’m really proud of the fact that I cut my time in half, and honestly, it wasn’t that hard.

Even though I don’t think my usage was having a significant negative impact on my day-to-day life, I feel more even-keeled now that it’s reduced. Of course, it’s easy(ish) to do something for a couple of weeks, but who knows how this will play out over the course of a couple of months. And I’m fine with that.

IN OTHER NEWS

Aside from my ongoing social media usage experiment, there are a few other things on my mind as of late. Health and wellness have become new priorities for me over the last few years, and last year, I had the good fortune of interviewing Dr. Robin Berzin, the founder and CEO of Parsley Health, which is the nation’s largest holistic, functional medical service. I’ve been working with the team in L.A. and found that my blood sugar levels were higher than I’d like. Between that piece of information and my fascination with Jessie Inchauspé’s @glucosegoddess IG account, I’ve decided to proactively monitor my glucose levels to make sure that things are trending in the right direction. Will be writing about that here, of course.

I’m also still working on #projectneck with Dr. Nancy Samolitis of Facile with a series of CoolPeel laser treatments, plus some neck-and-jawline rejuvenation via a little toxin in the old platysma bands. Have no idea what I’m talking about? No worries. Story and photos coming soon! In the meantime, I’m still loving her Brighten Serum ($38), which is excellent for fading the dark marks I get after pimples. Plus, it also slaps dark spots right off your face. No joke.

Another ongoing project—the white T-shirt roundup!—is closer to being done. Early marks for the Ninety Percent T-shirts, which are made using sustainable practices, and the brand donates part of its proceeds to charities such as WildAid. (Still haven’t found anything I love as much as the sold-out Hanes x Karla T-shirts, and mopping my fashion-girl tears with the regular old Hanes crew-neck in the meantime.)

If you’ve been here for a second, you know I love the brand Klur; its Elements of Comfort body oil is not cheap, but it’s a heavenly luxury experience that is worth saving up for IMHO. Because I adore everything I’ve tried from the brand and trust and respect Klur’s founder, Lesley Thornton, so much, I’m really excited to try her Sculpture + A Overnight Enrichment Cream, which I’m starting this week! It has a gentle retinol, functional peptides, and a whole bunch of anti-inflammatory botanical actives, which all sound dreamy and efficacious.

And finally, I have a Studio 54–themed party I’m going to soon and have been doing some research about what to wear, and weirdly, the ’70s are the decade I probably know the least about. An oversight, I know. I’m still unsure about my look, but I want Debbie Harry eye makeup like the photo below at the very least. If you have any thoughts, inspiration, or suggestions, please send them my way, especially if you have a vintage gold lamé Zandra Rhodes you don’t mind me borrowing!

As always, thank you for being here, and thank you for sticking around. If you have any questions or concerns, or want me to touch on any topics in particular, I’m all ears. Leave a comment on Hi Everyone’s Bulletin or DM me on Instagram—I’m @hillarykerr—my inbox is always open!