How to Thanksgiving Like a Virgo
Four rules for producing a most excellent meal, plus two answers to your Quick Chat queries involving mascara and love!
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Historically, we have pretty major Thanksgiving celebrations in my family. In non-pandemic times, a typical dinner involves approximately 16 people (my family, including husband, kids, parents, and sister-in-law; one of my dear friends from high school; a dear friend from college, plus his wife and three kids; a dear friend from L.A.; and a couple my parents are friends with, whom we love). Within that group, there are five vegetarians, five kids, and two gluten-free humans, and the rest are traditionalists. Also, this shindig happens at my parents’ house, where there is one oven, one toaster oven, and a typical four-burner cooktop.
So how the hell does this meal happen? Especially considering that I like doing things from scratch and think everyone should have a number of food options within their dietary restrictions? Obviously, it’s an insane amount of work, but even if you aren’t a masochist like me, there is a way to make a big, festive dinner go smoothly. Or at least semi-smoothly.
I have four rules for producing an excellent Thanksgiving.
#1: Prep, prep, prep. The earlier the better.
In my informal calculations, you can do approximately 83% of the work before the actual day. Seriously. In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I make sure that we have what we need for the big day from a décor standpoint. Are we renting tables, chairs, dishes, and more? In a perfect world, you get that sorted at least a month in advance, in part because you need to lock in delivery/pickup times. Are we using what we have? Make sure every chair works—trust me on this one—and go through everything (linens, plates, servingware, you name it) to make sure it's all up to your standards, clean, and ready to go. Do you have a plan for your tablescape? I like to decide at least two weeks in advance, so if I need to order more candles, for example, I have plenty of time to do that.
This prep work should extend to your food, too. I buy wine, order our HoneyBaked ham (yes, it’s a family tradition, and I use the leftovers to make Cuban-inspired sandwiches the next day), and do as much grocery shopping ahead of time as possible. Two days before Thanksgiving, I work on things that will keep for a few days, such as cranberry sauce, and set as much of the table as I can. The day before Thanksgiving is hard-core prep: pies are baked, all the veggies for the stuffing are cut, ham is plated and wrapped, and I put notes in each piece of servingware so I know where the mashed potatoes will go and which bowl to use for the vegetarian brussels sprouts versus the pancetta version.
#2: Enlist help.
Thanksgiving is a team sport. In my opinion, everyone who plans on eating should be helping, unless otherwise given special dispensation. If you are the point person, you need to be a good leader. Make it clear what your expectations are in advance. Have specific jobs that you distribute early. Get people excited! You’re going to have the best Thanksgiving ever thanks to these people and their help!
I also like to make everyone handwritten schedules for the day so that they know what’s happening when and can plan accordingly. Yes, I’m intense, but also the food is always delicious, so my family puts up with it!
#3. No alcohol until food is on the table.
Or at least until you’re in the final stretch. I will admit this one has become easier as time has gone on and I basically quit drinking four years ago. That said! If you can just keep the alcohol to a minimum, it’s really for the best because producing a meal like Thanksgiving is stressful and requires a ton of timing and problem solving, and personally, I am better at doing those things when I am not tipsy. But you know, rules are made to be broken, so if you want to ignore this one, I will pretend I don’t notice.
#4. Make a minute-by-minute schedule for the big day.
If you ignore all my other rules—a concept that pains me—please don’t skip this one, as it is the most important. Even if you’re only making dinner for a couple of people, there’s still a fair amount to keep track of in terms of number of dishes and cook times and overall workflow.
My solution is bananas, but I swear it works. A week ahead of Thanksgiving, I gather all of the recipes I’m making that year, make a list of the dishes our guests are contributing, and then figure out a timeline for the whole process. Because we have a finite amount of cooking space, I decided to optimize our oven and now only use recipes that call for the same cooking temperature. I know that sounds weird, but this way I can throw things in and out of the oven without worrying about turning the temperature up or down. It’s really nice!
And if you were wondering, this is what the schedule looks like.
This is an older run-of-show schedule, but you get the idea!
Typical menu includes:
Beer-Can Turkey (it cooks much faster than regular roasting) (GF)
HoneyBaked Ham (GF)
Mashed Potatoes (GF, V)
Regular Gravy
Veggie Gravy (GF, V)
Tofurkey (V)
Cranberry Relish (GF, V)
Corn Casserole (GF, V)
Brussels Sprouts (GF, V)
Brussel Sprouts With Pancetta + Sriracha
Scratch Cornbread Stuffing (V)
French Apple Pie (V)
Citrusy Cheesecake made with gluten-free gingersnaps (GF, V)
QUICK CHAT
On Instagram this week, I asked if anyone had any questions they’d like me to answer here in the newsletter—kind of like a non-disappearing AMA?—and you sent in loads! How fun.
What mascara do you use?
My one desert-island beauty product is my mascara. I love it so much I wear it literally all the time. It’s Dior’s Diorshow Iconic Overcurl Mascara, and I swear it will change your life. The formula is perfect: You get major lashes, clean definition, volume, and length all in one formula. It’s dramatic, so if you like a super-natural look, this isn’t for you. It also CURLS YOUR LASHES. That’s right. I don’t even own an eyelash curler anymore, not that I ever had the slightest inclination to use it when it was in my possession. (I’m too lazy.) The result is your eyes look awake and your lashes look FABULOUS. Oh, and it comes off easily in the shower with my normal face wash. Yes! No makeup remover required. Buy it, and try it for a week. I promise you will loooooooove it.
How did you know your husband was The One?
Jonathan and I met briefly in 2011, and about nine months after we met, we slowly started becoming friends. We had some mutual acquaintances, so we’d run into each other here and there, but mostly we just emailed and texted sporadically. Said correspondence mostly consisted of nerdy articles that we thought the other person would like, and the cadence was unpredictable. To be clear, we weren’t dating during that time, but I think we realized we liked each other’s brains and that there was something there, on some level, somewhere.
This went on for years. Literally. Like, at least three.
Eventually—and yes, I am glossing over a lot here—the timing was right, and something changed. Once we were together, things started speeding up, and now here we are, eight years later, with two kids and our five-year anniversary coming up in December.
When I think back to those early days, I think about how lucky we were to get to know each other without the pressure of dating. And I really liked what I saw: He was so smart, funny, hyper knowledgeable about so many things, an excellent person, and just a good man. That sounds so simple, but if you’ve ever dated, you know it’s not. I loved his values, work ethic, personal style, the fact that he was a true feminist, and I knew he’d be a truly remarkable dad. I felt both safe and challenged—a duality I’d only known in my greatest friendships, never a romantic relationship—and I knew that I would always want to talk to him. (It’s at this point he would also probably want me to point out that obviously I found him very attractive on every level, and he would be right.)
So long story long, it wasn’t immediate, it wasn’t overnight, but everything just kept adding up until it was inevitable.
As always, thank you for being here, and thank you for sticking around. If you have any questions or concerns, or want me to touch on any topics in particular, I’m all ears. Leave a comment on Hi Everyone’s Bulletin or DM me on Instagram—I’m @hillarykerr—my inbox is always open!
xxHillary